Crave: Finding Serenity by the Sea

Rawa Island, February 2025

After years of soul-searching, healing, and rediscovering my voice, I've finally found the courage to write this. This blog is where I lay my heart open — to reflect, explore, and grow alongside anyone who stumbles across these words and it has been quite a while since I last wrote a blog. I think some people have completely forgotten that blogs are still around, and their short attention spans might not appreciate this.

My life feels like a long, quiet unfolding; part mystery, part memory. I’ve carried things I didn’t always have words for, but somehow I kept moving, guided by something deeper. From childhood to motherhood, from heartbreak to healing, I’ve been shedding and becoming all at once. There’s a softness in me now, shaped by grief, love, and all that lives in between. I’m still learning, still listening — to God, to my soul, to the ocean inside me that never really stopped speaking.

I used to discuss my life in general terms, focusing on sharing knowledge rather than expressing my feelings. I would talk about the most random topics and include DSLR photos to highlight my photography skills, which I considered cool at the time. Then again, I tried writing because I miss writing journals, but I'm too lazy to write in a book. I can't believe I developed a love for typing thanks to blogging.

There are moments I wish I could relive, especially the sacred experience of giving birth and caring for my baby, Naira Helena. I would go through it all over again, just to hold her once more. But life gently urges us forward. I find comfort in knowing she's in a better place now, free from pain. That’s all I ever wanted — for her to be at peace.

I don’t have all the answers, and maybe I never will. But I know I was meant to write this — to honor the truth that lives in me, and maybe, in you too. Thank you for being here.